Sunday, February 24, 2013

Disappointed


Verb, past tense, the action of having less than no pride in a given accomplishment
The greatest feeling of disappointment comes when you think something you have done is good, or better than good, maybe even awesome, then you turn around and realize what you did wasn’t good it wasn’t even close. Then you realize that there are so many people out there that can do everything you can do except they can do it better, faster, bigger. In that moment you realize that you are nothing special, that you are just another girl with a blog that no one will find. 
                We are all standing in a gigantic feel screaming and jumping up and down waving our arms, trying to be different to be special, to get noticed, to be someone. And for the most part we can focus on one thing at a time. Just this one more second, this one more moment, this one more year, then I’ll be where I want to be I’ll be satisfied with what I have, and what I don’t. And sometimes, just for a moment we step out of the pattern and look around us at what’s going on. I don’t know about you, but I always find myself just wanting to go back to the monotony, the normality, the safety of the system.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Constriction

Sometimes I feel so lost, figuratively. There are so many thing I want to do, like finish my book, disign dresses, write a song, learn sign language... I'm so excited and so overwhelmed. I want to do all these thing, but I never seem to have enough time. I am struggling to keep up my good grades, get sleep and get anything elce done. I want to be more to do more, but I am so constricted by what I have to do. I want to be more free.

Well...

I made a blog today. So, um, yeah.