Noun, so angry that you are not able to express yourself in words but must instead resort to gutteral noises
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhh!!!!!
Monday, March 4, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Begin
Verb, present tense, to start
Every night I feel waves of fear grow within me. I have had this fear right before I go to bed for several years now, but I think I have finally figured out why. Ever since I was about ten I have woken up each day with a different outlook on life. Everyday ment beginning my life anew. Somedays I'll be joyfull and some days I'll be sad or hopefull or mad. The end of everyday is like the death of who I was that day. Often it's a good thing to say that everyday is the first day in the rest of your life, but it can also be terrifying to know that tomorrow you could be totally different. I think that these feeling are because i have bipolar type two.
Every night I feel waves of fear grow within me. I have had this fear right before I go to bed for several years now, but I think I have finally figured out why. Ever since I was about ten I have woken up each day with a different outlook on life. Everyday ment beginning my life anew. Somedays I'll be joyfull and some days I'll be sad or hopefull or mad. The end of everyday is like the death of who I was that day. Often it's a good thing to say that everyday is the first day in the rest of your life, but it can also be terrifying to know that tomorrow you could be totally different. I think that these feeling are because i have bipolar type two.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Up
Preposition, not down
Today I realized something, I don't need to be sad, or complain, or worry. There really isn't anything to be sad about. Everything is going to be fine, all you need to do is enjoy the moment. You have to live for the now because you have no idea will things will get better or worse.
I guess you could say I'm having an up day. Rest assured I will be back to crying and complaining by tomorrow, but for now it's blue skies.
Today I realized something, I don't need to be sad, or complain, or worry. There really isn't anything to be sad about. Everything is going to be fine, all you need to do is enjoy the moment. You have to live for the now because you have no idea will things will get better or worse.
I guess you could say I'm having an up day. Rest assured I will be back to crying and complaining by tomorrow, but for now it's blue skies.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Regret
Verb, to feel bad about something that happened in the past, no mater how long ago it happened
One of my many character flaws is not being able to take criticism. When someone tells me I have done something poorly or not the way it is supposed to be done I feel terrible, weather they meant to be kind and helpful, informative or cruel I always feel this deep sensation of failure deep in my heart. It has been difficult for me to learn. I am always so worried I will mess up or fail. So many times I have just wanted to be able to take what others say about me with a grain of salt.
One of my many character flaws is not being able to take criticism. When someone tells me I have done something poorly or not the way it is supposed to be done I feel terrible, weather they meant to be kind and helpful, informative or cruel I always feel this deep sensation of failure deep in my heart. It has been difficult for me to learn. I am always so worried I will mess up or fail. So many times I have just wanted to be able to take what others say about me with a grain of salt.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Bottled
Verb, past tense, stuffed away in a small container to be released later on unsuspecting victims
Today something was different, today I could tell. I had this feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach. I knew as of about ten minuets ago that if things continue the way they are I am going to either explode or implode. There is only so much stress I can take before something bad happens, but usually I can't tell until right before whatever it is happens, but this time I had a chance to warn someone and they ignored my warning. I know he probably just thought it was something that could wait, still I just want to Prevent something had from happening again.
I know that was probably annoyingly cryptic, but I should really get to sleep. I'll get back to you soon.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Sleepy
Adjective, the feeling of tiredness, the desperate need to put your head on the table despite it being the middle of class
The way I see it there are many types of tiered. Sometime soon I'm hoping to put out there a list of my ideas, including the different types of tired . Today's tired is the kind you feel when you get home from a long day at work. I call it tired psychological because it is the tired you feel after something mentally trying. Psychological tired is caused by working you mind for a prolonged amount of time, or an emotion that is strong or in affect for a long time.
That's what I'm feeling right now...zzzz
The way I see it there are many types of tiered. Sometime soon I'm hoping to put out there a list of my ideas, including the different types of tired . Today's tired is the kind you feel when you get home from a long day at work. I call it tired psychological because it is the tired you feel after something mentally trying. Psychological tired is caused by working you mind for a prolonged amount of time, or an emotion that is strong or in affect for a long time.
That's what I'm feeling right now...zzzz
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Tenebrosity
Noun, dark, solemn
The tenebrosity,
How it surrounds me
The walls of a city,
Rising up around me
All the synchronicity,
Means nothing to me
The tenebrosity,
The darkness around
No eccentricity
Nothing to be found
Dark, no electricity
No light, no touch, no sound
All the tenebrosity
Everything used to mean so much to me
The rising toxicity,
In all that can be
Specificity,
lost to me
Sorry about the bad poetry. Sometimes it seems that it is easier to communicate when your not entirely sure what it is you are going to say. The ring is just so that it sounds nice.
Basically, what I was trying to say was, sometimes I feel as though I was surrounded by and darkness that no one else can see. For a long time I speculated that I had some form of depression, but more recently I have come to believe that I may have Bipolar type two. That's actually where I got the name of this blog from. I considered explaining the name earlier but, I wanted to designate an entire entry to it and I just haven't found the right time. For reference I think I'll call it effulgence.
The tenebrosity,
How it surrounds me
The walls of a city,
Rising up around me
All the synchronicity,
Means nothing to me
The tenebrosity,
The darkness around
No eccentricity
Nothing to be found
Dark, no electricity
No light, no touch, no sound
All the tenebrosity
Everything used to mean so much to me
The rising toxicity,
In all that can be
Specificity,
lost to me
Sorry about the bad poetry. Sometimes it seems that it is easier to communicate when your not entirely sure what it is you are going to say. The ring is just so that it sounds nice.
Basically, what I was trying to say was, sometimes I feel as though I was surrounded by and darkness that no one else can see. For a long time I speculated that I had some form of depression, but more recently I have come to believe that I may have Bipolar type two. That's actually where I got the name of this blog from. I considered explaining the name earlier but, I wanted to designate an entire entry to it and I just haven't found the right time. For reference I think I'll call it effulgence.
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